![]() ![]() But dealing is not our goal – transformation is. So? Norms were not named up front, and we could have used some language to navigate tensions that arose. When the norms of a community (or relationship) are not explicit, transparent, shared, who benefits – at whose cost? Additionally, communities must determine how are (and develop skills for) individuals to respond to a breach of norms – before such a breach occurs so that the community is not experienced as reactive and retaliating. Furthermore, a lot more work must be done besides “naming” a set of norms – communities must agree to and must make meaning of behaviors together – up front and ongoing. But in my experience, not naming and agreeing to expected behaviors almost always assures greater difficulty achieving these behaviors in an intentional way. ![]() I know that rolling out an arbitrary list of expected behaviors does not assure those behaviors. ![]() Others, as she noted, “were put off” and the tension was never addressed. She explained her feelings were based on the reactions she received when she shared her experience of school. Perhaps the most serious was when an African American colleague shared that she – as one of only 6 black educators in a room of nearly 200 – did not think that she belonged in the room. Even though people were playing nice, neither was true as evidenced by side conversations used to debrief and release minute tensions. We just moved into the agenda with the assumptions that we knew and agreed on how to work together and what to do when conflict occurred. One of the more subtle, nuanced facilitative moments comes when developing group norms. But in our work, I have long learned some basics that have the potential to either make or break a transformative relationship. Not only was minimally shared about forming formal mentor relationships, but also the facilitation modeled practices that I had long ago learned did not foster the necessary conditions for these desired relationships. The formal learning however, left me wanting more. Good people attended with the intentions of doing good work, so it was a good two days. As a former principal, and later center director in such a relationship as part of the National Coalition of Essential Schools’ Mentor School project, I was excited to attend and see what progress this mentoring model has made since CES’ original program nearly 10 years ago. Last week I attended a mini conference for districts that were partnering “less successful” and “more successful” schools with the intent of forming mentoring relationships. Who are we protecting – and silencing – when we suggest that a community can thrive without judgment ? ![]()
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